im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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