True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
