operation have a gay friend backfired
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
