That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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