Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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