My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize