Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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