Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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