five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Someone came in the potted fern
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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