Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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