A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
last night I used snow as a chaser
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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