Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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