please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
