haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
