the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I'm passing your future prison.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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