drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
