She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize