Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
