This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize