I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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