He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
