theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
