thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have a little drunk in my system
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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