hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
