Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize