at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize