I think my vagina is haunted
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
