Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
