Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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