...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Randomize
