I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
