we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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