I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
