i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
