Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
