i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
