I have demons in me.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
