Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
