Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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