I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
