Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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