we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
A+ Viking dick
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
