No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
