all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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