You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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