there was a trapeze. enough said
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Randomize
