zippers are such a cool invention
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
