is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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