So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
