Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
