Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
