weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
