He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
