I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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