yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
