piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
