Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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