do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
