Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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