There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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