the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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