She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Randomize
