Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
