bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize