i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
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