I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
